Part 20

Clearly this wasn't the kind of first kiss she'd wanted.

Ran hugged her shoulders, and turned her head, tears creeping down her cheeks.

Ann: I'm sorry, Ran.

I retreated as far away as I could, and she hugged herself even tighter, leaning against the wall.

Ann: Ran, why... why don't you take a day off from school tomorrow.

Ran remained silent and unresponsive.

I blinked my eyes, feeling like I was about to cry. But I did my best to bear it, and looked up towards the bright and cloudless blue sky.

Ann: Summer's almost here.

Ann: Once it's summer vacation, why don't we go out on a trip together? To the sea- how's that sound?

Ran suddenly nodded her head, and followed by speaking.

Ran: Okay.

Ran's condition had improved significantly, but she was still plagued by serious insomnia.

Even at the seaside resort area, she still found it hard to fall asleep, so every night she and I would hold hands, and take meandering walks on the sands, without another soul in sight.

A bright moon reflected itself in the surface of the ink-black water. The pure white light was particularly eye-catching, and so we'd always stop our walks whenever we reached an optimal spot to moongaze.

At this moment, the only thing I was worried about, was whether the ocean winds would ruin my carefully maintained hairtips.

Ran: Ann, are there aliens on the moon?

Ann: It's possible.

Ran: What about the sun?

Ann: The sun itself is one.

Ran nodded. I knew that she wasn't particularly interested in the answer; she just wanted to say something to me.

She'd been like this ever since we saw that news about the female high-schooler who'd committed suicide at Shibuya Crossing today.

Ann: Do you still want to talk about Makoto?

Ran: Yeah...

Ran held my hand with force. She'd been trying all day to ensure that I was accompanying her by her side, and that I was paying attention to her.

Ran: Ann, why're you so willing to spend all this time with me?

Ann: I dunno, I guess I just enjoy it? The first time I visited your house I said so as well, we ought to keep each other company.

Ran: If, Asakura had someone next to her who was to her like you were to me, then maybe she'd have lived on.

Ran: I can't help but feel like she and I are very similar. If nobody was around to care for me, then maybe I'd make the same choice as her.

Ann: In the recalls I could see that Makoto Asakura had many people by her side who cared about her. None of it successfully moved her, though; her problem seems to be one more fundamental in its nature.

Ann: It's unfortunate that I can't use my power on the deceased directly, but even if I could, there'd be no way for me to know what they were thinking.

Ran: Maybe what she needed wasn't just someone who cared about her, but rather someone like Yanagiwara... Tama's book mentioned something like that. Asakura needed to have meaning granted to her life, something that could help her find a connection between her and the world. Maybe then she wouldn't have chosen to kill herself.

Ran nodded to herself, seemingly convinced that she'd found the right answer.

At that point, the waves grew slightly louder, and a wind blew in from the sea. The clouds in the night sky were brushed aside by the wind as well, and the light of the moon shone boundlessly over the beach.

By that light, I looked towards Ran, and she at me, as well, with an expression that seemed almost to be a smile but not quite. I could tell, though, that she was embarrassed- because my expression was probably much the same.

I now seemed to understand why our kind always eventually sought a way to extend our lifespans. Even now I was hoping that I could spend more time with Ran. I wished that my life hadn't already passed its halfway point. I wished that...

I wished that Ran could love me more deeply than I loved myself. I wanted to become, in her heart, a figure of singular and irreplaceable primacy.

Ran: Ann... why are you crying?

Ann: I don't know.

She was the Beloved Child of the Mother of Humanity. I still remember the way that she elicited a unique feeling of attraction within me when we first met, and now churning within me was that same feeling all over again.

Did I really love her? Or was it just like I'd seen in the recalls, how all living entities not created by the Mother of Humanity were irrevocably drawn towards the Beloved Child, condemned by their nature to try to win the Beloved Child's love, to achieve their own selfish goals?

Ann: I don't know...

Ran: Ann? Is it your lifespan? Are you worried about your lifespan?

Ann shook her head.

Ann: I'm not worried. There's still twenty years left. As long as I can be with you, my life will be filled with meaning, without a second wasted.

As I lied on one hand, I held Ran's hands with the other.

Ann: It's getting colder. Let's go back to our room. I'm sure you'll be able to sleep well tonight.

The resort we'd checked into was an old residential building located near a seaside grove. Apparently, after the owner had mysteriously disappeared for several years, their family had sold the building to its current proprietor.

Because of the remote location and the rumors involved, there were very few customers- which suited me perfectly.

Ran and I arrived at the observation deck. This was a regular polygonal room, with a broad view of the landscape outside the windows.

Ran sat down besides the wall, and turned her head to look at the sea of stars that filled the view outside the window. I, on the other hand, held her hand, and looked only at her.

Ran: Ann, we should come here during our next few days here, as well.

Ann: Of course. If you'd like to come, you can come here anytime.

Ran: Just nightly will be fine.

Ran closed her eyes and leaned against my shoulder, and fell asleep before long.

The way she turned and tossed restlessly every night always hurt my heart; for some reason, this time, she quickly and easily entered sleep.

Ann: (Looks like we really do need to come here to stargaze more often.)

Ann: Goodnight, Ran.

Ran: Ann! I- it hurts so much! Ann! Help me!

The air was filled with the smell of dead water- but it was far from being able to cover the stench of blood.

Ran's screams mixed with the sound of rain, resounding all over the rooftop. I took quick, panicked gasps, feeling like I was about to hurl.

(???): Human- Beloved Child-, heeeeelp meeeeeee----

Before my eyes was a bizarre organism, a mixed mass of quicksilver blood and decaying chunks of flesh. It was clearly on its last legs.

And its bizarre blood had splashed on to me. The strange substance, halfway between solid and liquid, had congealed into irregular shapes on my body.

This was much like its fundamental nature. It was just a mass of black hair which changed forms based on the expectations of the conscious beings around it, constantly switching between solid, liquid, and gaseous states.

(???): Beloved Child-

It spoke without tonality, but its voice sounded like a mixture between mine and Ran's, which filled me with disgust.

Ran: Ann! Please! Save me! Miss Sakura! Please!

Trembling, I turned my head. Ran was sitting on the floor. Her left arm had been pulled off at the elbow, and in the wound I could spot shredded muscle and shattered bone.

She was in so much pain that she was crying and sobbing uncontrollably, kicking at the floor repeatedly, legs scraped and red, a whole puddle of blood forming under her left arm.

It'd only taken a few seconds for that thing to eat Ran's arm while it was lying on her. If I could just-

I was naive enough to believe that I was the only one who knew that the new Beloved Child was Ran. That was what had brought this suffering down upon us.

This is only the beginning. They'll keep coming, and they'll never stop, not until they take Ran away from me for good.

Ann: Ran, don't worry, I'll protect you, don't worry...

Ran's hand had been ripped away entirely by the thing that'd attacked us. Even though the wound had healed, the shirt-sleeve of that arm would forever be empty.

I didn't inform miss Takei or miss Toyama about this incident. Instead, I lied to them, telling them that Ran and I were still enjoying summer vacation in a different location.

Ran: Ann, will it hurt?

Ran laid on the bed, clutching my wrist with a death-grip using her only remaining hand.

Ann: Don't worry. She'll inject you with a tranquilizer. Once you wake up your left hand will have regrown.

I picked up the Blood-Sculptor and placed them next to Ran's severed hand, and then took out some glass jars from my backpack. Inside them were two liters of blood from the same person.

I nodded to the Blood-Sculptor's owner, and she nodded and began communicating with the big cat. It wasn't the first time I'd come here, so the Blood-Sculptor obediently let me stroke its head.

Ann: Alright, close your eyes and go to sleep.

Ran: Okay... Ann, will you keep me company?

Ann: Well, of course! I'm not going anywhere.

Ran closed her eyes in satisfaction. I waited until the tranquilizer had taken effect, before I gently pulled Ran's fingers away from mine, and headed to the room next door.

There, I laid down in the recliner, and took out the stuff that the Blood-Sculptor's owner had graciously helped me prepare beforehand, and injected it into my bloodstream. Once I closed my eyes, it spread throughout my body.

I wanted to protect Ran. I wanted her to be able to escape her status as the Beloved Child of the Mother of Humanity and survive doing so. I wanted to be together with her forever- and, at the same time, I wanted to know if my love for her was just the effect of the Beloved Child.

For this reason, I needed to understand everything about this planet.

Ann: Well, then. Let's begin the Recall.

Ran immediately used her newly regenerated left hand to stroke my face, poking and prodding it, squeezing my nose and pulling my ears, and finally ending by stroking my lips.

Ran: ...Thank you, Ann.

Ann: Oh, it's nothing. I've been missing that hand of yours more than you have.

Ran smiled in embarrassment. I discovered that I had also fallen in love with her delighted expression. It was also equally cute.

Ran: But- what's wrong with your face? It felt like I was touching a plaster cast just now, while I was feeling it.

Ann: It'll be fine in a bit, don't worry about it.

I used my apparently plaster-like finger to poke her face, in return.

Ann: Ran, I understand what it means to be the Beloved Child, now. I'll make sure that you'll be able to leave behind this terrible identity and escape.

Ran: What? Ann, what did you do??

Ran held my hand tightly, with only concern left in her eyes.

Ann: I have Recalled 4.6 billion years, and experienced the entirety of the Mother of Humanity's experiences.

The Mother was originally just a consciousness that came into being concurrently with the Earth itself. She was incapable of thought, and without a nervous system; she only had basic stimulus sensitivity, the way that plants did.

Except her reactions to stimuli caused the origins of species, transformations in the climate, and plate tectonics. All the way until 1.8 million years ago, when humanity was born.

With humanity's birth, she gained self-awareness, became capable of reason, and gained emotions.

Well, even before humanity, there existed creatures with rudimentary reasoning and emotive capabilities. But only homo sapiens was an intelligent species capable of sustaining the Mother's self-awareness for her.

The Mother of Humanity was overjoyed about this, and became fiercely protective of the human race. To shelter them, she appeared before all things on the Earth which had not been created by her own stimulus reactions, and declared herself the Mother of Humanity to them.

But, two thousand years ago, she suddenly grew sick of this. 1.8 million years of nurturing humans had caused her to grow exhausted- but she couldn't bear to completely let go. So she began trying to find a being who could inherit the position of Mother from her.

Ran: So the so-called Beloved Child is someone who has the potential to inherit her position?

Ann: That's right. But, for some reason, no Beloved Child has succeeded for the last two thousand years. I suppose the conditions required must be extremely strict, and she herself probably can't control it either.

Ann: ...But, y'know, she's got plenty of time to be patient.

Ann: Ah, we've arrived. Here it is.

I'd brought Ran to the village I'd lived in when I was young. After navigating the forest trails and the mountain tunnels, we came to an abandoned, old school.

My father had once told me that his grandfather had once served as a teacher here, and that he, in his quest to find a way to extend his life, had discovered some object which he'd placed in this school that might prove useful to me.

Ran: Looks like it's been abandoned for ages. The village at the base of the mountain feels like it's pretty old too.

Ran: And, Ann, the old lady that's been taking care of us these past few days, you called her your granny?

Ann: Oh, well, she's not related to me by blood. After all, we can't live to the age where we can see our grandchildren grow up in front of us.

Ann: She's an earthling, but she took of my father when he was growing up, and he took care of me when I was young, so I call her granny.

Ann: And she's a very strong woman. In Recall I saw that she'd experienced many twists and turns in her life. She didn't cry even when my mother and father passed away.

I wonder if granny would cry when I passed away.

Ran: She seemed to dislike me. She'd intentionally interrupt me whenever I started talking.

Ann: I think she's mad that her adorable granddaughter got seduced by a gloomy and untrustworthy character such as yourself.

Ran: I didn't, though...

Ever since the arm-severing incident, Ran's personality had changed slightly. We'd already been quite physically intimate before that, of course, but Ran was still insistent on putting up a tsundere fight with her words, at least.

And now she was just permanently locked in dere-mode with me, constantly hoping that I'd pay more attention to her and convey my feelings to her more often.

Of course, I wouldn't begrudge her any of the intimacy she sought. We had so little time left together, there was no point to wasting any of it. I'd use all of that time as well as I could, and keep it close to my heart.

Ann: Ran, you've got to promise me that you'll live a long and happy life, okay?

Ran: Of course! We'll live on happily together.

We passed through the hallway, and came to a broken stairwell. In the recalls, I'd seen that the object had been stored in a secret compartment, right next to the stairwell.

Originally, the school building's plans mandated that there only be one storage room on every floor. Afterwards, the students felt it inconvenient, so they dug out an additional underground storage room next to the stairs.

And lying under a protractor, there, was a notebook with a scarlet cover.

Ann: I've found it...

I reached out and took the notebook. Not a single bit of dust was staining it. The pages were perfectly white, like they were totally new.

Ran: Is that what we've been looking for?

Ann: Yep. With it, all of our problems can be solved now.

Ann: Come with me.

Before I'd come here, I hadn't told Ran what I wanted the notebook for. And she didn't know that my great-grandfather was, right now, stored within the notebook. That was the method he'd found for extending his lifespan.

From the moment I'd laid my hands on the notebook, he'd begun speaking to me. He said that he could use the notebook to engage in Recall, and thus experience the lives of many people. His reason for wanting to live was so that he could go to many more places in the world and see much more things.

Stored in this eternally pristine notebook, he could tour this world forever, and even meet me, his great-granddaughter.

Ran: Ann, what's that notebook able to do?

If I opened my mouth now, my great-grandfather in the notebook would surely hear. But it didn't matter; there was nothing he could do about it anyways.

Ann: I've been thinking for a long time, why none of the Beloved Children have become Mother, up until now.

Ann: It must be because nobody is capable to cast their vision over the entire world, the way that the Mother can, instead of focusing on only what's in front of themselves at that moment.

Ran: I'm not sure I follow...

Ann: It's okay, you don't need to. Just listen to me.

Ann: Besides that, the Mother clearly doesn't want a nonhuman lifeform to become her successor. This is simple to understand, isn't it?

Ran nodded, her grip on me increasing in strength.

Ann: In the end, if you couldn't escape the position of the Beloved Child, then I'll have to protect you the whole time, and let you live a full and complete life. But the me that's about to lose her power of Recall soon can't do that- and my lifespan itself won't permit me to accompany you the whole time.

Ann: The notebook can solve all of those problems.

My great-grandfather seemed to have figured out what I was planning to do. He screamed into the depths of my brain, ordering me to put him back where I found him.

Ran: I still don't get how to use the notebook, though.

Ann: You don't need to worry. Just leave it to me, Ran.

The barrel was quite tall. I wouldn't have to worry about any sparks leaping out of the barrel, that way.

My great-grandfather's shouts turned into weeping. He began to plead with me, telling me that he didn't want to die.

Ann: Me neither.

I said to him, quietly, before tossing the notebook into the metal drum, and lighting it with a match.

Ran: Ann.....

Ann: Relax. The notebook won't be damaged by the fire.

Ran watched the flames with confusion.

I couldn't tell her what I was planning to do until I was about to do it. She'd never go along with it otherwise.

I waited until the terrible screaming resounding through my mind had fully dissipated before I poured a bucket of water into the notebook. Then I raised myself to tiptoes to look at the notebook. It was completely unharmed- in fact, not a single drop of water had even clung to its pages.

I took it out, and found that it'd actually gotten a bit thicker than it had been. Looks like my great-grandfather had ripped a few pages out at some point.

Ran: Wow, that's incredible. So what is it, exactly?

Ann: It's a container, Ran. It's a container that can hold absolutely anything, the most secure lockbox in the whole universe.

Ann: It can even contain a soul.

I took out a knife that I'd already prepared, and then took Ran's hand, and lightly cut open all the fingertips of her right hand. Ran was very calm, and didn't show any signs of resistance.

Ann: (This knife's a little over-the-top just for shallowly cutting the fingertips. I hope Ran won't get suspicious, ahaha...)

Crimson blood began seeping through, drop by drop, and I quickly flipped to an empty page in the notebook, and placed her hand onto it, letting her blood seep onto the pages.

It looked exactly like I'd expected, the way I'd seen it work in the Recalls. The newly-cleared notebook needed to confirm its new owner, before it could have something stored within it.

The blood from Ran's fingertips wasn't absorbed by the pages, but rather quickly congealed onto it, forming a bloody mark.

Ann: There. The notebook belongs to you, now.

Ran: O-okay. And then?

Ann: Well, what comes next is...

I suddenly noticed that there were tears dripping down my face. Ran noticed, and immediately started helping me wipe my face.

Ann: I...

Perhaps I'd overestimated my own resolve.

I din't want to leave her just yet. I wanted to hug her again.

Ann: I don't want to...

There wasn't any more need for any testing anymore. The feelings I felt for her clearly couldn't have anything to do with her being the Beloved Child. I just wanted to keep holding her hand and keep living with her.

Ann: It's fine, I'm okay, don't worry.

I gave Ran a smile, and my tears obediently stopped disrupting my emotions.

Ann: Ran, listen to me calmly. After this I'm going to enter the notebook, and, by placing your finger on the notebook as a signal, you'll be able to trigger it to reactivate my Recall ability. There'll be a lot of limitations, but this way, you will possess a power that humans could not normally possess.

Ran: Wh-

Ann: Shush. Keep listening.

Ann: The notebook will never be damaged. Even in here I'll be able to keep talking to you. It'll be like keeping you company forever.

Ran: Talk to me? But...

Ann: That solves two of the three problems we just spoke of. Finally, I need you to never concern yourself with this world. But, as the Beloved Child, bound to come into contact with the supernatural, I imagine you won't be able to help yourself and will try to do something anyways.

Ann: So I'm going to help you out, by concentrating all of your attention onto a single, small, focused point, forever.

I sat down on the ground, and opened the notebook to a blank page.

Ann: Ran, don't be sad. I'll always... be by your side.

I turned the handle of the knife, and used the blade to cut open my own neck. It hurt a lot more than I was expecting it would.

Ran: Ann, don't! I'm begging you, stop!

Ran: I can live together with you, even if you can't protect me forever, as long as we can be together it'll be okay...

Ran: I'm begging you, don't leave me, I want to be with you...

Ran: I... Miss Sakura, please...

The blood flowed quickly. I wanted to say something, but found I didn't have the strength for it anymore. I forced myself to smile, trying to reassure her.

Ran: Miss Sakura... what'll I do without you...

That particular form of address, which Ran only used when she was mentally unsteady and pleading with me, I actually had always liked a lot. The her that was calling out to me like that... was really quite adorable.

The darkness before my eyes grew more and more severe, and I found that I could no longer make Ran's voice out clearly. It felt like there was something, faraway, pulling me, making me come closer to it.

That was probably the notebook, right? That was good. Once I died, Ran couldn't possibly concern herself with the 'world' or whatever.

She'd only focus on me. Definitely, for sure.

Good night... See you tomorrow, Ran.

I love you.